The soft warm lie (a distant cousin of the cold hard truth)

Listen to this song as you read, it helps

I heard something today that stood out to me.  It caught my attention, if only for a moment.  It caught my attention because you never hear anyone say it.  Because people don't talk like this.  People don't think like this.  I definitely don't think like this at least. Here's what I heard:

As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more.

Wow that's depressing.  Alright on to the next order of business, let's see, umm spring break is coming up does anyone have any fun pla- NOW WAIT A MINUTE!  You just thought, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

Stop yelling jeezsh.  I can give you 2 good reasons why we can and should gloss over this saying thing or whatever it is.

1. It doesn't even rhyme.   
2. It's not relevant. To my life.

Here's why it's not relevant, my week has sucked.  I mean like big time sucked.  Spring break can not come soon enough.  I'm knee deep in support raising (which is a ton of work btw) and a Chinese speaking final (which is a ton of work btw) and I can't really say at this point either is going well.    Add on top girl problems (I'm still single, and still haven't gotten hold of the whole "mingle" yet, despite me being "ready" for a while now), and boom, freaking awful week.  I know I'm making this seem light hearted but I'm not in a good mood right now. 

That passage up above comes from scripture.  Specifically Psalm 105:15-16.  What the Psalmst (King David) is saying is that our lives are short and insignificant.  There's a second half to this verse that make this make more sense (we'll talk about it here in a sec), but you can understand how reading this doesn't exactly bring comfort in the wake of what I'm going through right now.

I can't think about how fragile my life is, I have so much Chinese to memorize before Friday morning.  My own insignificance feels pretty insignificant compared to my problems. 

I was saying that I heard this passage: I did, at the Cru meeting last night, it was read along with all of Psalm 103.  But 15-16 stood out to me so much that as soon as I got back to my room I read the verses for myself.  The reason they stood out to me was because I hardly ever stop to think like this.  I know I can't speak for everyone internally, but externally I don't hear people talk like this.

"My own insignificance feels pretty insignificant compared to my problems."

How often do conversations actually go down like this:

"Hey how's you week going?"

"Not bad.  What about yours?"

"Does it really matter, in the grand scheme of things we are just a spec of dust in the massive span of existence, an existence is so brief this world will never remember us."

That's what I thought.  My week is going terrible, here's another thing to make me feel even worse.

But my week is not over yet, and neither is Psalm 103

Read it here: http://www.esvbible.org/Psalm%2B103/.  That's when you realize, or at least, I realized.  The entire Psalm is about God.  It praises a God who has no end, who can cure every disease, who can heal any sin no matter how deep, who gives us a crown of constant mercy that we just flat out do not deserve.

Bless the only one who can satisfy us for our entire existence, bless the only one who has grace deep enough to dig up the roots of our pain, and our problems, and bring the entire tree down so nothing, not even a twig stands in our way.  He gives us more life than food ever could give, more breath than air ever yields, and more love than could fit between the east and the west.  

Guys, the east and the west have no boundaries.  His love has no boundaries, it is so big numbers, metaphors, nothing can quantify it, so therefore all throughout the Bible and throughout existence people just keep praising, keep screaming, keep whispering "God," in order to somehow do justice to this amazing and perfect creator. 

I will extol you, my God and King,

and bless your name forever and ever.

Every day I will bless you

and praise your name forever and ever.

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,

and his greatness is unsearchable. (Psalm 145:1-3, ESV)

Because once you've been touched by God, you cant help but scream "Lord, I love you," and then just cry, and never stop crying because you realize that no matter how much you say it, and mean it from the depth of your heart, it will never be enough to show how awesome he is. Verse 17a says:

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting.

From the beginning.  Before the big bang, before matter, before darkness, he loved you.  To the end.  This is after the earth stops spinning and darkness falls, and matter is gone and existence isn't real, because God has pulled the curtain, and his story is completely done, down to every last molecule.  

That is the span of God's love, and that is why verses 15-16 shouldn't make you feel small.  They should make God look big.  Because he is.  

What if none of that made sense?

Ugly truth time, it's hard for me to internalize all of this.  I want to be in tears over the beauty of God, and the depth of his love, but I am just not in the mood for it right now.  Cold hard truth.  I may have gotten a goosebump or two typing this blog, but that's about it.  

If we jump all the way back to what I said in the beginning about 15-16 not being "relevant", it's obvious that the verses are there to give us perspective unto the nature of God, but when I'm at my worst, close to where I am right now, I never really care much for the nature of God.  Funny how our problems just seem to overwhelm us like that.  

I know my problems are supposed to be small, but to me they just aren't.  Thankfully God meets us where we're at, and there is grace for every situation.  I can jump into more detail about this, but that would make this just way too long.  It's too long as it is. 

If you are like me and are having a tough week, this whole blog probably meant nothing too you.  You probably read it all and felt nothing move, not even a flutter deep down.  That's not bad.  Time to be real that's where I'm at right now.  But God is so unbelievably big that it makes little difference to him if you are constantly aware of how amazing he is.  That's comfort enough for me right now.  

But maybe you wont be having a bad week here soon, and then it might be easier to take a step back, and fall in love with your creator all over again.  I hope these verses can help you.

For I, the Lord your God,

hold your right hand;

it is I who say to you, “Fear not,

I am the one who helps you.” (Isaiah 41:13, ESV)

Cast your burden on the Lord,

and he will sustain you;

he will never permit

the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22, ESV)

I can do all things through him who gives me strength (Phillipians 4:13, NIV)